Little Kimimaro Has An Adventure
by rallamajoop
Summary: Once upon a time in a small cave in Mist Country there lived a little ninja called Kimimaro. Ep. 126 filler based silliness


Best read immediately following viewing of episode 126. I'd say this makes more sense that way, only...

Disclaimer: I don't know what I was on. But then, I don't know what they were on either. My money's on whatever halucenogenic substance Naruto ran into in that cave in the same episode.

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Once upon a time in a small cave in Mist Country there lived a little ninja called Kimimaro. He liked his milk and dinosaurs and, well, most things involving a lot of exposed bones and a good chance to rip someone else into a lot of messy little bits, actually. But poor little Kimimaro was ever so lonely because he lived all by his poor little self in that cave with only some unusually shaped rock formations for company. 

One day, Kimimaro's family came to the cave and took him outside and said to him, "Your time has come. Now be a good little boy and go slaughter everyone from Mist Village you can find." This may seem a little extreme to some of our readers, but we beg you to keep in mind that the Mist ninjas had been making fun of the Kaguya clan's hair practically forever, so really they had it coming. But before little Kimimaro could ask anything else, his whole family did that neat ninja thing where they all shoot off in different directions at the same time, leaving poor little Kimimaro with no idea which way to go.

So, little Kimimaro set off down the road on his journey.

As he walked down the road, little Kimimaro met a tall man with a big sword and bandages all over his face. With him was a young child of indeterminate gender who had eyes which might perhaps have looked a bit like Kimimaro's if, say, you didn't get a good look at them or went cross-eyed at the appropriate moment.

"Are you from Mist Village?" Kimimaro asked politely.

"No." Said the man, although he had a hand behind his back as he said it and may very well have been crossing his fingers, but Kimimaro, being a trusting boy, didn't notice this; appologised politely for taking up their time and went on his merry way.

"He has the same abandonment complex eyes as me!" Thought the questionably gendered child as Kimimaro left, before going off on his/her own way and eventually being beaten up by the boy who would one day beat up the boy who would later go on to beat up Kimimaro; though not before beating up the boy Kimimaro would beat up shortly before being beaten up himself. Sadly, this was a connection that would fail to occur to anyone at the time.

The next person Kimimaro met on his journey was a pale man in a loose brown kimono with scary eyes. This one was still in the market for an androgynous henchchild of His Very Own, and was all alone. Kimimaro pulled out his bone dagger and leapt at the man with a yell, which he had decided was close enough to the same as asking "Are you from Mist Village?" like he had last time, and besides, he was running rather late by this stage.

Fortunately, the pale man seemed to understand this. "No." He said, having quite accidently knocked little Kimimaro into a helpless sprawl on the ground. "I'm not from Mist Village." But he was nice enough to point out the right direction. So little Kimimaro thanked him politely, appologised for trying to rip out his spleen and went on his merry way again.

So, finally Kimimaro found himself at the gateway of a large burning ninja village. "Are you from Mist Village?" He asked first man he saw, who answered by saying "Aargh!" rather loudly, which Kimimaro correctly assumed was probably a yes. Then little Kimimaro went on a killing spree and slaughtered everyone in the village; or at least quite a lot of them before it finally sank in that it has never actually been his hair they were making fun of in the first place, at which point he felt rather embarrassed about the whole thing, and went off and talked to a flower for a bit.

But then who should come along but the pale man with the scary eyes! Being of the genocidal sort himself and really _very_ fond of little kids, he was quite impressed with Kimimaro's little killing spree even if the boy did have a strange sort of tendency to talk to inanimate objects. So, off they went together, killing all sorts of people for many years, even some of the ones who'd never made fun of anyone's hair in their lives. And they lived happily ever after.

The End


End file.
